Blank

Oddly, i have nothing to say - nothing to share. i sat here for some time trying to think of what would be appropriate. i am in a low spot at present and have no one with whom i can share my fears and what's looming in my very near future, yet i don't want to spill it out here - cause i feel all i do is whine and complain, which i rather detest.

So, i'm blank.

i'm trying to think of something posititve...no i WLIL think of something positive...just give me a minute, please.
(long pause)

ok..i do have something. i recevied a decent performance appraisal from my full-time job the other day. my Boss didn't say anything shattering (either positive or negative) so i think all was well. He did thank me for what i do and how i do it..that's good, right? i was glad for it-i hate them with a passion and dread the meeting for weeks in advance. but it was really ok.

IF i were as i wished (homemaker) i believe the performance appraisal wouldn't just be ok but would be grand. It's where my heart is, it's what i know i was made to do and love and i hold on the hope that someday it might be a dream realized.

But for now, espeically in this 'blank' time, i will hold on to a nice appraisal and try to do my best where i am.